What do you feel?
This is the question which I frequently ask on workshops.
Mark your feeling on the "thermometer of emotions "- I continue.
What do you think about? - this is the successive question.
Do you see the correlation between feeling and quality of thoughts flowing
through your mind? - I sustain.
If yes, can you state by words your needs hidden under feelings?
Maria is 50 years old, and she is after a serious problem with health. She
systematically takes part in workshops.
Today she seems to be extremely irritated, even she is very willing for
proposals of leading. But successive elements of the exercises - music expressed
by word, motion, drawing and dance heighten her irritable condition. Asked about
feelings, she confirms my observations. She feels irritated and unwillingly
preset to surroundings.
Before we "discharge" this upsetting state, I try to pump from her a need hidden
behind estimations. Into daylight come Maria's desires concerning repair of her
flat. As a result of her words, we see that she feels lack of "power" and her
partner "doesn't declare any interest of this subject".
"I feel like in a trap" - she says, and really non-verbal announcements flowing
from her body confirm a truth of feeling.
There is no way out from this situation and this fact tires and irritate me very
much - she adds.
In a group falls a state of dejection.
Someone endeavors hearten Maria, reminding own upsetting experiences, other "justify"
Maria and her mood by going through serious sickness. But "wishful thinking"
doesn't improve the mood of woman.
What for we need feelings?
What are the consequences of suppressing it?
I ask Maria to enter into communication with her irritation.
What an unfulfilled need underlies behind this feeling? - I ask.
The repair of my flat - slowly drawls Maria……
But I cannot realize this need - she adds - on the base of my own power, don't
count on my partner.
In her eyes appears sorrow.
But there are other opportunities, yet - I say. We are. Present us your offer,
and there will find out volunteers to help solve your problem. If you will stay
in the fetters of the "old way of thinking", feeling of internal tear will come
back, even after a while you will feel better.
Eyes of Maria express astonishment. She hasn't thought about such a solution.
Her thought were cruised on hitherto paths of creating the reality. She couldn't
realize that in this way she close herself for positive realization of her need.
Feeling - need…………..
And later there can be, after a feeling of fulfillment arising from realization
- change of notion about self.
The old, stiff frames of personality crumble, giving beginning of "new life".
The transformation becomes a fact.
The end of workshops.
Does it worth invest own time into reaching to own feelings and following it
In what degree realization of own needs develop us let us differently comprehend
ourselves and surrounding us world?
I enhance you to find the answer for preceding questions in yourself.
Teresa Maria Zalewska
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